Shmuel's Soapbox: American Idol Annex

Season 7: Finale!

Here we go!

I missed the first minute or so; according to Idol Chatter, Ryan announced that one David got 56%, and the other got 44%.

Fans cheer in each David's hometown.

And the spectacle begins... the top 12, singing "Get Ready" and dancing, all in white. (Not much white, in the case of some of the girls.)

David and David sing.

Love Guru movie tie-in. [eyeroll]

Syesha sings "Waiting for You"... and is joined by Seal.

Jason Castro sings "Hallelujah."

Ford commercial, over a montage of footage from Ford commercials past, I think: "Let the Good Times Roll."

Each David gets a Ford Escape hybrid.

The top 6 girls do a Donna Summer medley... and are joined by a dance troupe and Donna Summer.

Carly Smithson and Michael Johns perform a jazzy version of "The Letter."

Jimmy Kimmel makes a Sanjaya joke. (Hey, Sanjaya's in the audience!) ...and a bunch of other jokes, followed by a montage of Simon comments set to "Pop Goes the Weasel."

The top 6 boys sing a Bryan Adams medley. Gee, I wonder who's going to join them? ...why, it's Bryan Adams! I did not see that coming.

Jordin plugs the upcoming theme-park American Idol Experience.

David Cook and ZZ Top perform "Sharp-Dressed Man."

Graham Nash and Brooke White perform "Teach Your Children."

...is that David Cook in a Guitar Hero commercial, or am I hallucinating?

The Jonas Brothers sing "S.O.S." (Ah, I miss having the Disney Channel.)

Montage of bad auditions. (Don't let me down, guys. I want Renaldo!)

YES!!!

With a marching band!

...slowed down a bit, though. Hmm. That's getting in the way of his groove.

Cheerleaders! And Paula!

...and they cut it off and went to commercial. Awww.

Still, a valiant effort. Thank you, producers.

One Republic performs "Apologize"... joined by Archuleta.

Jordin sings "One Step at a Time."

...I've gone ahead and gotten the spreadsheet all filled out for an Archuleta win, that's how sure I am of the results. (I did not vote last night, myself. I couldn't vote for Cook after those performances, and I didn't want to vote for Archie.)

Supposed 1972 footage of Gladys Knight auditioning Pips... Ben Stiller (?), Jack Black, and somebody I don't recognize. (Robert Downey Jr., says Ryan.)

Carrie Underwood sings "Last Name."

The top 12 perform a George Michael medley. One supposes George Michael will be out shortly. One is right, of course.

And on to the results!

Randy thinks season 7 was great.
Paula notes that it's not the finale, it's the start of a great career.
Simon congratulates them both, and notes that the difference between the two didn't seem as clear-cut when he got home and watched the show. He apologizes to David Cook, and says that for the first time ever, he's equally okay with either David winning.

The winner... by 12 million votes... is... holy crap. David Cook!

Clearly last night's performances didn't sway many people.

[hurriedly begins revising the spreadsheet]

Final pool standings:
Mo Pie and I tie for first place, with 20 points each.
Jesse's in third, with 13 points.
TeKay has 11.
Pam has 10.

Those standings would have been turned upside-down if Archie had won. Man.

Thanks for playing, everyone! Let's do it again next year!