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I suppose this is a copout entry, but I should like to share a few links.
If you've read or seen Pride and Prejudice and you've used Facebook, hie thee immediately to Austenbook, which retells the novel in status lines. It's brilliantly executed. (Found via Jed.)
While updating my links page, I found a translation of "Baby Got Back" into American Sign Language. I'm sure I'd appreciate it much, much more if I knew any ASL, but it's still pretty funny without that knowledge. (The relevant bit starts around 1:20.)
If—and only if—you've seen many episodes of Yu-Gi-Oh!, check out Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series. Despite the name, it's actually a parody that's both affectionate and merciless in shredding the series. Also see the wiki page, which lists some bonus episodes not found at that link. (I particularly like the "live action" one in which Little Kuriboh recites the entire first episode on camera, in response to YouTube taking the original down for copyright infringement.)
This is a couple of years old, but perhaps you haven't seen it... Library Smut, some gorgeous photos of libraries. I take no responsibility for drool shorting out your keyboard. (The photos are from this book.)
Finally, Jin Wicked has art for sale. As I write this, the clearance section has a couple of prints still left at the utterly absurd price of $1 apiece, which is definitely below her cost of production. She also has a bunch of eBay auctions underway. Please don't let one of my favorite artists starve...
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
And on to the facts behind Two Truths and a Lie.
I've played lead kazoo on "I Can See Clearly Now" in front of a day camp, backed up by a professional five-piece band. It was one of the best experiences in my life.I was a staff member, not a camper, and I'm actually not sure how many instruments were in the band -- it may have been six or seven -- but this is true. I love music, and the kazoo is the only instrument I've mastered.
I'm not much of a dancer in general (to put it mildly), but I learned the kazatzka way back when. I dance it at weddings, and it tends to go over well.This one is a lie. A friend tried to teach me the kazatzka as a child, but I was never able to get the hang of it. (As an aside, it wasn't until I went looking for a relevant link the other night that I discovered it's called the "Cossack dance" by some, suggesting an etymology for the term, presumably by way of Yiddish.)
In a graduate-level course at the University of Michigan, I wrote and sang a song about L.E.L.'s "Fairy of the Fountains," to the tune of "Coward of the County." This may have been one of the many, many factors involved in my leaving that program.This is all too true. I was working on a term paper about the poem in question, and my mind is ruled by prosody. I couldn't stop noticing that the phrase "Fairy of the Fountains" had the exact same meter and alliteration as "Coward of the County"... I ultimately had to write two verses of the song just to get it out of my head so I could work on the paper. And having written the thing, I couldn't not share it... which I suppose means I ought to present it here as well.
The first two verses of this song are mostly as written and presented in 2002; I amended a few awkward phrases and wrote the final verse just now. I would note that my entire paper was about the fact that while earlier versions of this story served to impute a higher, fairy lineage to the French royal family, L.E.L.'s version is all about the dire consequences of mixing fairy and (fallen) human blood.
Everyone considered her the fairy of the fountains
If she appeared, you knew the king wouldn't last too long
Her name was Melusina, but folks called her "the fairy,"
But something always told me they were reading Mellie wrong.
She was just a few days old when her dad surprised her mother
His armor, crown, and all the rest gave her the creeps, they say.
I still recall the final words her mom said to her father
"Thy suspicion's parted us for ever; wo the day!"
And she said:
"Promise me, Mel, not to cast a fairy spell
Submit yourself to Jesus if you can
It's a sin for you to mix
Human blood with magic tricks
So daughter mine, I hope you understand
Leave fairy stuff alone, 'cause you're half man."
She was just past puberty when she stuffed Dad in a mountain
Her Mom read her the riot act, and said "You are perverse!
Each seventh day from here on out, you'll have to be half-serpent
Unless you find a man whose trust will someday break your curse."
Mel hung 'round the fountain, and soon was wooed by Raymond
He courted her a year and more, and asked her for her hand
She said, "I'd be delighted, but there's one small condition.
A spell's been laid upon me, so try to understand."
And she said:
"Promise me, Ray, that on the seventh day
You'll step aside, let me go off alone.
Put away your doubts and fears
'Cause it's just for seven years
So husband mine, I hope this is okay
Each seventh day be sure to stay away."
Raymond tried to keep his word, but jealousy consumed him
The fancies that arose in him, they set his brain on fire.
He had to know where she would go; he couldn't live with doubting,
One fateful day, he followed her, though this made him a liar.
Untold months of waiting were bottled up inside him;
No longer was he holding back, he walked into her cell.
Her upper half was human, but her lower coils were scaly!
She shrieked when she beheld him, and that was her farewell.
But she might have said:
"You promised me, Ray, that on the seventh day
You'd step aside, let me go off alone.
But your fears came to the fore
Now I'm cursed forevermore
I'll cry for your descendants through the years
For both our sins, I'll never dry my tears."
Everyone considered her the fairy of the fountains...
Monday, December 08, 2008
5:20 PM: On Deciding the Next Decider: The 2008 Presidential Race in Rhyme
Calvin Trillin's columns are a lot of fun to read.
He writes of food, and parking spots, and politicians' greed.
His narrative persona is unique, you can't deny:
A Kansas City New York Jew who thinks he's Everyguy.
His quirky brand of humor draws on subtle observations;
The nuances of daily life, and all of its frustrations.
I went to see him Tuesday; he arrived there close to eight
(At a reading called for seven, but The Daily Show ran late).
His newest book, it turns out, is about the past election.
A narrative account of the eventual selection
For president of our great land, of a man who shuns teh drama:
The senator from Illinois, Barack Hussein Obama.
The problem with this picture is he wrote the thing in rhyme.
It's almost all in couplets, and I can't say they're sublime.
As a nonce work, it's okay; I mean, I'll grant it's kind of cute,
But the shtick gets old too fast, and there's nothing that's astute.
So while I like his prose about Manhattan bourgeoisie,
When it comes to lightweight verse... heck, he's not as good as me.
Sunday, December 07, 2008
This is a last-minute replacement entry; I've been offline for the past six hours or so due to what I devoutly hope was the final installment from a week of technology-related mishaps. Those following my Twitter feed have the general idea of that; I'll probably have a full report here over the next few days. I wanna go to sleep, but I refuse to miss Day #2 of Holidailies, so instead I'm going to follow my sister's lead. Of the following three claims, two are true. One is not. Give me your best guess in the comments... you stand to win absolutely nothing if you're correct!
One: I've played lead kazoo on "I Can See Clearly Now" in front of a day camp, backed up by a professional five-piece band. It was one of the best experiences in my life.
Two: I'm not much of a dancer in general (to put it mildly), but I learned the kazatzka way back when. I dance it at weddings, and it tends to go over well.
Three: In a graduate-level course at the University of Michigan, I wrote and sang a song about L.E.L.'s "Fairy of the Fountains," to the tune of "Coward of the County." This may have been one of the many, many factors involved in my leaving that program.
(Clarification for new readers: No, Erin's not technically my sister.)
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