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From the list that accompanied my medication, I've experienced the following side effects so far, and most of them today: nausea, diarrhea, trouble sleeping, loss of appetite, increased sweating/flushing, unusual fatigue, decreased interest in sex, changes in sexual ability. (Of the last two, I thought at first that it was just the former, but a bit of diagnostic experimentation a few nights ago confirmed that the latter is in full force.)
On the whole, it's been a lovely start to 2005. Here's hoping these wear off and the positive effects kick in soon...
Friday, December 31, 2004
Today was generally better.
So... end of 2004. Might as well do a quick recap through it...
January: I visit my sister in Dallas, and discover that, in Texas, everything is "right down the block." I also make friends with Einstein; Clive remains aloof. (For those who don't read Erin's journal, those are her cats.) School starts again; I trade in one of my classes after the first session, ending up with courses in postmodern literature and desktop publishing.
February: American Idol starts again, and I open the Idol Annex of this journal. (It'll be starting up again in a couple of weeks, by the way.) I meet Nicky in New York. I also check out what's somewhat euphemistically referred to as an underground strip club; it doesn't go very well. Someday, I may even write about it here. Also, I buy a used PowerBook, loaded with desktop publishing and graphic design software.
March: I get cable Internet again, plus basic-basic cable TV. I watch Adaptation on DVD. I start an American Idol pool. There seems to be a theme here.
April: I place a print personal ad and record a voice greeting, then immediately cancel them on discovering the hidden charges. I create a chapbook as a final project, and offer copies for sale. A few people actually buy them; most are still available. The semester ends.
May: I throw a birthday party, and four people show up-- double 2003's attendance! Also, I find my dream internship, working at what had already been my favorite almanac. The only downside is the commute, which involves a 35-minute train ride and about 25 minutes of walking. I meet Sooz. Construction begins outside my window. I try and fail to find an apartment with a bathtub.
June: I decide that my mission for the summer -- after the one in which I make it to work every morning -- is to get a life. I mostly fail at this, but I do make it to work, so one out of two ain't bad. I end up making it to 4 out of 6 Latin dance sessions. I meet Pam. I find that I really really like getting a steady paycheck.
July: I go from boring everybody with trivia on tall towers to boring everyone with trivia on Olympic history; it's an occupational hazard. I get hooked on Joe Schmo 2, mystifying my readers. The Democratic National Convention comes to town, and I realize that I'm probably not going to be able to vote for Kerry. Still, Clinton and Sharpton have some good speeches.
August: I write a cute entry about Prairie Dawn. I go to JournalCon and see Pam and Sassy and Pratt and Mike and Lisa and Frank and Karen and Amanda and Miriam and Mo and Suzy and another Lisa and lots and lots of other people. Also, a drama queen waiter, whom I pointedly stiff on the tip, as Hamburger Mary's manages to completely screw up the karaoke. Also, I get to hang out with a long-time net.friend, before heading to New York and seeing a night of one-act plays with Kymm, which are actually quite good! (That Kymm's performances are good is a given; the material and other performances tend to be more of a toss-up.)
September: I finish my work at the alamanac, with my last act being the creation of a Yu-Gi-Oh! quiz for our kids' site. Classes begin; one is good, one sucks, but I catch on to how much it sucks too late to do anything about it. The presidential debates start, and I realize that there's absolutely no way I can vote for either frontrunner.
October: The Red Sox beat the Yankees, in one of the most dramatic comebacks of all time. I begin passive-agressively turning in crap to my bad class; the professor finds it to be an improvement.
November: I cast my protest vote for Sharpton. Kerry loses the election; thankfully, this time around it's clear enough that most Democrats are unable to maintain the delusion that they actually won. I know it's all over when I no longer hear news helicopters flying overhead every few minutes.
December: I get my copy of my almanac, and it is beautiful. Classes end. I start taking Paxil. I write a long string of boring entries for Holidailies, ending the year with this one.
Somewhere in the middle of all that, there were several first dates, but no second ones. I didn't write about 'em in the journal, and I don't feel like combing through my e-mail to get more specific than that.
On the whole, 2004 wasn't a great year for me, but it wasn't a terrible one, either. I'm making some progress on the social front, and I have a great addition to my resume, plus some useful job experience. One could do worse.
Happy new year!
12:01 AM:
Thursday, December 30, 2004
Quoth I, yesterday:
I'm hoping that I'm over that now, despite having moved up to the full 20mg dose last night.I can be so cute when I'm optimistic.
Today was spent battling queasiness and resting. And I've gotta say, I'm sick and tired of it.
...and if that lame attempt at humor doesn't make it clear that I'm in no condition to write an entry just now, I'm not sure what would.
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
11:55 PM: So, getting back to my life...
My life seems to be underway again, not that an outside observer would know it from today's lack of activity. But for the first time in over a week, I've actually been feeling awake and alert since getting up, which indirectly seems to confirm my suspicion that last week's general groginess was at least partially due to the Paxil. I'm hoping that I'm over that now, despite having moved up to the full 20mg dose last night. In the meantime, another common side effect -- loss of libido -- appears to be in force. I'm inclined to take that as an added benefit just now, but I suppose it has the potential to become problematic if it persists.
Anyway, I need to figure out when I'm visiting New York. The tentative plan has been to swing by for a few days either next week or the week after that. That's about as far as my plans have gotten, and it'd help to have something more specific. I guess I just don't want to confront the thicket of logistics in getting touch with people I'd like to see and figuring out which fraction of them I'll be able to get together with this time around. But it oughta be done.
I also need to do some long-overdue research for a professor in my department, on a subject I know pretty much nothing about: compiling a list of books and articles about cognitive science written for laymen. I've been dragging my feet there, too, but now that I'm alert, I need to get this off my conscience and off my agenda. I'm hoping to have a plausible draft done by tomorrow evening.
Finally, I have nothing to say about the recent earthquake and tsunamis that hasn't been said in a zillion other places, except perhaps that Wikipedia has been doing an impressive job of processing information on it. Donation links abound, there and elsewhere; if you can help, you don't need me to tell you to.
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
11:03 PM: Poor Min, poor Min, poor Min...
(Today's topic sort of tangentally suggested by Chris.)
I'm fond of this installment of Queen of Wands. Partly because, hey, it's about karaoke; partly because Kestrel (she's the redhead) has a valid point, albeit not a universally true one; and partly because the song Seamus is singing is among those at the top of my repertoire. Specifically, "Minnie the Moocher," by Cab Calloway.
"Minnie the Moocher" is a surprisingly tricky song to pull off; I practiced extensively at home before trying it in public. The reason for this is also the reason why it's a singularly perverse choice for a karaoke performance. See, the chorus of "Minnie the Moocher" is a combination of scat singing and an echo song: Calloway would sing "Hi-de-hi-de-hi-de-hi," and the band and audience would reply "Hi-de-hi-de-hi-de-hi," and so on. However, the exact content of that scat singing varied from performance to performance; I've heard a few different recordings of this song, and Calloway sings it a slightly different way each time. This is how it should be.
Thing is, at karaoke, one doesn't have that luxury; while the lead vocal is stripped out of the recording for the performer to fill in, the choral response is fixed and immutable. What the aspiring karaoke star needs to do, then, is imitate as precisely as possible the scat singing of one specific performance, lest he sing "ho-de-ho-de-ho-de-ho" when the response is a rising "whoooa!" Fortunately, in my experience, this is always the version from the Blues Brothers soundtrack, and I've gotten it down pretty well.
But it's still kinda perverse.
Monday, December 27, 2004
11:57 PM: Do you know where you're going to?
My impassioned request for things to write about did not go unheeded! Another Holidailies participant sent along two suggestions, neither of which, as it turns out, I have a real response for. Namely:
Write up an interview with yourself-- not as you are now, but the "in your wildest dreams" you.If I recall correctly, Jim Carrey has said that when he was starting out, he wrote himself a check for a million dollars, a check he's since been able to cash many times over. Others report similar activities, settling on a career path early on, always knowing where they were going to, always striving for a clearly defined goal.
Narrate a day in your life-- twenty years from now.
I've never really been one of those people. I have trouble imagining where I'll be two years from now, let alone twenty. If I'd been asked at any point before two years ago what I'd be doing now, I wouldn't have come up with the situation I'm in now, in a very small, cold apartment near the center of downtown Boston, devoutly looking forward to getting out of grad school and into a career in publishing, still hoping to write a book within the year, but seeing that as secondary to the editing prospects. Not at all religiously observant, but still largely in agreement with Orthodox Jewish ideology, in a willfully suspended safe space as I work things out for myself. Dating in theory, but not getting very far in practice. Taking the occasional Latin dance class, of all things. Taking medication to alter my brain chemistry of my own free will. Two years ago, I might've gotten the bits about Boston and the lack of observance; four years ago, maybe the lack of observance, but not much else. Ten years ago, fuggedaboudit.
Who knows where I'll be in five years? Maybe comfortably ensconced in a dream job, something akin to my work at the almanac this past summer, doing bits of research and proofreading and editing and writing and whatnot. Maybe working the night shift at a 7-11. Maybe touring the country as an itinerant kazoo instructor. Maybe doing Web design work for chihuahua farmers. Honestly, I have no idea. And that's just five years; twenty is a complete mystery.
I tend to live in the moment, bouncing from crisis to crisis, fighting each fire as it comes, doing what needs to be done as its deadline approaches. Long-range planning is not my strongest suit. Which explains a lot, actually.
Maybe someday I'll do something about that.
Sunday, December 26, 2004
I'd predicted an A- in Magazine Design and Production and a B+ in Nonfiction Workshop, with a margin of error of one-third grade. As it turned out, I got an A- in both. I guess that much is nice.
Otherwise, it's cold and snowy. I'm not fond of cold and snowy.
Anyone have any ideas for something I ought to be writing about here? E-mail me. Please.
Meanwhile, yet another quiz:
You scored as Lawful Good. A lawful good person acts as a good person is expected or required to act. They are dedicated to upholding both what is right and what is set down in law.
What is your Alignment? created with QuizFarm.com |
1:19 AM: Oh. My. Gosh.
The following requires Flash and sound; safe for work, if you happen to work somewhere where watching a video is acceptable. The most innuendo-laden clip from a children's TV show ever. It's more than 2 megabytes, so probably not for those on dialup, but if you have a fast connection, it's totally worth the wait.
(Link swiped from Bex.)
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