10:55 PM:

I just e-mailed the following to the grad students and faculty of the English Department. (GSIs are Grad Student Instructors, whose ranks I'll be joining next semester. GEO is the local union for GSIs.)

Subject: Of walkouts and workarounds

So I'm a little confused.

I have the impression, based both on personal experience and on overhearing the chatter in the infield, that a number of classes are taking one of two approaches to the probable GSI walkout this coming Monday: either moving the class off campus or switching it to another day. I don't get it, especially as this seems to be spearheaded by the very people supporting the walkout.

Now, I understand that I'm coming from a different perspective here, being vocally against the GEO in general and this walkout in particular, for reasons beyond the scope of this message. However, reasonable people can disagree, and I don't mean to deny the validity of the GEO viewpoint in this instance.

So, umm, why are you guys doing just that?

As I understand it, the point of the walkout is to illustrate the seriousness of the problems with the GSI contract currently on the table. The statement -- implicit or explicit -- made by the picket lines is that the terms the University is insisting on are so unacceptable that GSIs are willing to abandon their classes, to the detriment of their students and themselves. The idea is that the short-term loss will be outweighed by the long-term gain once the University takes you guys seriously.

But that only makes sense if there IS a short-term loss. It's all about sacrifice, people. If you're going to get around the problem by moving classes to Tuesdays or relocating off-campus, all you're doing is making yourselves look ridiculous. If that's the route you want to take, why not save everybody the trouble and schedule your walkout for Sunday? It'd have the same effect, just without the hypocrisy.

(Of course, the above is directed at those who philosophically support the union position. I'm giving those involved the benefit of the doubt in assuming that's the case. Because if they don't support the walkout, but don't want to cross the line anyway, there's nothing much to say other than "grow up." To paraphrase my mother, if the entire membership of GEO were jumping off the Empire State Building, would you do it also?)

I'm going to class on Monday, no matter how the vote turns out. The rest of you should by all means follow your consciences... but, please, do have the courage of your own convictions. Merely pretending to do so doesn't count.

Oh, and did I mention that the grad student instructor union is going on strike next Monday? 'Cause they probably are -- although the vote hasn't been officially tallied yet -- and, being firmly opposed to the grad student instructor union, I have every intention of crossing the picket line and going to my classes. This becomes relevant today because it's the Monday classes that'll be affected, and I suppose the instructors might consider rescheduling the classes, in which case I'm gonna be vocally opposing anything of the sort. You know, I've managed to piss everybody else off; why not alienate my fellow students too?

I want to cry.

Part of this can be traced to sleep deprivation, no doubt. More of it is due to... well, everything. I've been staring at my textbook and the monitor for the past hour or so, but have only managed to get one sentence on the page, which means my incomplete from last semester is remaining incomplete for the moment. I think I'm flunking at least one of my classes this semester, and this is pretty much my fault. I need to figure out now what I'm going to be doing this summer, and I'm not even sure what my options are, save that I'm looking for stuff in Ann Arbor, despite the fact that I don't much like Ann Arbor. But one side-effect of my avoiding my father is that I'm gonna be avoiding New York in the immediate future, too, and that's killing me in itself. Not to mention that this also keeps me from my younger sister for the next while...

Hold the supportive e-mail, okay? I'm not up to dealing with it just now, and I don't deserve any anyway.

I really wanted to get that last entry off the top of the page. Fortunately, Dawn provided another quiz to answer, so here goes:

Mmm, I am Lemon Flavoured. I am bitter and twisted. Expect from me acerbic humour and sharp commentary. While I may seem nasty at first, I'm actually quite good company if I like you, so long as you don't mind a bit of cutting to the chase. What Flavour Are You?

This seems about right.

8:18 PM:

Okay, I've got an incomplete from last semester to somehow make up tonight, which means I really shouldn't be typing anything here just now. But I just wanna say that this morning, I finally saw The Jazz Singer for the first time, thanks to Turner Classic Movies. And while it's a bad film in just about every way (if historically important, being the first major film with spoken dialogue, if only for a couple of minutes in a largely silent film), I'm a sucker for schmaltz, and this may have been the worst film possible for my state of mind just now. I don't need to see Al Jolson, the would-be prodigal son, exclaiming "NEW YORK! BROADWAY! HOME! MOTHER!" just when I'm busy writing off my father, and dealing with the guilt treatment from my mother for doing so, you know?

[sigh]