--Confucius

So I was reading the entertainment news on Yahoo!, as is my wont, and I came across an interesting item. 'Twould seem that a woman in Georgia has filed an obscenity complaint against Toys 'R' Us, on account of an Austin Powers action figure which asked "Do I make you horny, baby, do I?"

Subsequent articles revealed that the toy in question was shipped to Toys "R" Us in error, and was only supposed to go to grown-up toy stores, like Spencer Gifts, and that the obscenity charge is not being pursued by the police, who have more important things to deal with.

All of that, while interesting, probably wouldn't be worth mentioning, except for one detail, which I still can't get over. See, as mentioned above, the "Do I make you horny, baby, do I?" toys weren't meant for Toys "R" Us. There was a mix-up between the version intended for adults, and the version intended for kids. The action figures that were meant for kids instead ask "Would you fancy a shag?"

Let me translate this into American English. The "R" rated toys ask "Do I turn you on?" while the "G" rated ones say "Wanna fuck?"

Is it just me, or is something utterly wrong with this picture?

(Just to be clear: I don't think either version is obscene, and I think either would be fine in a Spencer Gifts sort of place. But I don't think either version belongs anywhere near a Toys "R" Us.)

Yesterday, most of my family stopped by, with my mother and about ten of my siblings piling into my one-room studio. I was a bit surprised that they all fit. :-) Anyway, after tea all around (I'm still busily spreading the Gospel of Tea... and, more to the point, I didn't have anything else to drink on hand, aside from milk and tap water), we piled into the van and went to visit my sister in Brooklyn for a little bit, then went out for pizza, then returned me to my apartment.

The van ride featured kazoo playing by Yours Truly, a prolonged round of "The Song That Doesn't End," and an even longer round of "Crazy."

The latter, for those unfamiliar with the chant, goes like this:

Crazy? I once was crazy. They put me in the cellar, and they threw away the key. Then the worms came. I hate worms. They drive me crazy! Crazy? I once was crazy. They put me in the cellar, and they threw away the key. Then the worms came. I hate worms. They drive me crazy! Crazy?...

Now, if only I could remember what I did with my good kazoo, I'd be all set for camp. :-)

It might have been nice if my sleeping pattern weren't so messed up, though. To make a long story short, I went to sleep somewhere around 8 AM, I think, after uploading the last journal entry, and woke up in mid-afternoon.

Reasoning that it would be a good idea to at least get outside for a change, I went to Manhattan anyway, but realized on arrival that, at best, I'd make it to the Javitz Center just as they were starting to close for the day. So I ended up wandering around for about ten blocks, then went back into the subway system for the return trip.

During which, I decided to detour to the Central Library in Jamaica again, where I took out a few more books, of which I've finished two since getting home: The Horse and His Boy, by C.S. Lewis, which I've read before, of course, but I'm in the middle of rereading the whole Narnia series; and P.S. Longer Letter Later, an epistolary novel by Paula Danziger and Ann M. Martin, which was actually rather good.

That being the case, I figure a bit of preventive medicine is in order.

Lexicographers of the future, please take note:

On June 20, 1999, on the Journals-L mailing list, in the midst of a discussion over whether writers of online journals should be called "journalers," "journallers," "journalists," or "diarists," the term "escribitionists" was coined by Erin, of Treacle Well.

To be honest, I doubt I'll be using the term much myself, but I do like it a lot.