It snowed overnight. I can't complain too much, though, because it's hardly snowed all winter long.

You might gather that I don't like snow very much. You'd be right. In fact, I strongly dislike snow, the cold, and almost everything pertaining to winter. Who needs slush soaking through one's sneakers? (I know, I ought to buy boots. Someday.) The frost nipping at one's nose, the cold causing one's ears to feel as if they're going to fall off (although I do have earmuffs), the joys of wearing multiple layers underneath your clothes that make you far too hot once you're indoors... Give me spring or summer, please, and I'll be happy.

In a nutshell, here are the basics:

• I need a job.

  Some of you may be wondering just why I haven't been evicted from my apartment, given some of the dire statements I've made in this journal over the past couple of months. Have I been exaggerating my financial problems, or did I leave out the bit where I won the lottery?

  Neither, actually. What's actually happened is that my younger brother is currently paying my rent. He agreed to do so back in September in the event that I couldn't do it, to assuage my landlords' concerns about my not having a job. I hadn't actually expected to have to take him up on it, though.

  I should note that my brother has been wonderful about this, and that I'm quite grateful. But at the same time... this has not being doing much for my self-esteem. One of the major reasons why I moved out in the first place was to assert my independence; to prove, to myself and others, that I could make it on my own.

  It looks as if I'm proving that I can't.

• I've been kind of avoiding getting a job.

  I'm still figuring out why. Part of this has to do with the next item: I'm overcommitted in general, and I tend to put committments I have to others on a higher level of priority than things I need to do for myself. If I had a job, it'd be on top priority, 'cause I'd be responsible to my boss... but while I don't have one, looking for one is on a lower priority level.

  Not that this really makes much sense, under the circumstances.

• I am way too overextended.

  Let's see. I'm attending college full-time, taking twelve credits. I'm still writing my weekly column for the school paper, although I've dropped all of the editorial work. I'm helping out at CleanSheets. I'm writing this journal. I'm leaving out a few other misc. activities here and there, and I'm looking to get a job on top of all that.

  Yeah.

• I'm continually in "crisis mode."

  See previous item, but the cause and effect may be the reverse of what you think. I run on nervous energy. The only time I get anything done is at the last minute. I'm usually very good about doing things at the last minute, but that's only the case provided that each task's last minute comes at a different time. On that basis, I multitask like anything, but finish any given thing by its deadline. When faced with two deadlines at the exact same moment, however, I've been known to fall apart. It ain't pretty.

  With that having been said, it works the majority of the time. And, as such, I think I deliberately take on lots of things at once so that I'll always be busy doing stuff. But that's probably not the healthiest way of running my life.

• I need a Rabbi.

  Let's face it; I've got a bunch of religious issues to work out, and nobody on the religious side to discuss 'em with. The catch is that I need to find somebody who will understand where I'm coming from; who will be willing to discuss things without trying to run my life; who will be capable of keeping his mouth shut around others; and whose opinion I'll respect. Frankly, it's a tall order, but it's an important one.

• I quite possibly need a social life.

  Until now, the closest thing I've had to that was at the college paper. I'm not sure that this really qualifies as a problem, and it's at the very bottom of my list... but maybe that just says something about just how far gone I am.

Actually, this ranks an entry unto itself, and I'm too tired to write it just now. Maybe I'll get back to this at the end of the week. No promises, though. :-)